Hi… My name is Laura and I’m here to do something I was given advise to do… Basically, ask for help… I am in a position as a new mother and as much as I love my daughter with every part of my heart, it’s obvious that it would have been better for her and I if I would have waited. Aside of my beautiful daughter, the father was obviously someone special enough to me for me to move in with him (in which the baby was conceived) back a couple years ago when I was lonely, depressed, and brainwashed that no one would ever love me – I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship with a very cruel guy. After living with my daughter’s father for sometime, I became pregnant. Although he was happy about becoming a father, he had and still has emotional/mental problems. Back then he was hanging out with “the wrong crowd” who were the kind of guys that are extremely manipulative instigators. By him hanging out with these people, it took a nasty turn one day and I was left home alone at the apartment (pregnant) and throwing up and crying all night and he never came home. He is not the kind of person to do that so I was so extremely terrified and upset. It turns out he was out with his friends taking so many pills, he didn’t even know who he was anymore, literally. It’s not like him at all to even do drugs in the first place. He ended up going to jail and my life was a mess not knowing what was going to happen. Since he was in jail and not going to work, we had no money to pay the apartment bills and I couldn’t have a job because I had such horrible morning sickness and I was anemic in my first trimester. To make an extremely long story short, we ended up getting evicted and now we owe the apartment $5,000 for ridiculous left and right charges covering every part of the eviction or else we have to go to court and get a lawsuit and what not…
I’ve always tried to be as independent as possible. Independent to the point I try so hard to make others happy and put myself last, and all I do is go and go and go using so much energy to do what’s right, I end up just breaking down from stress. Because I am the kind of person who tries so hard to be independent, I could never swallow my pride to ask for help from other people. I was talking to a friend the other day who gave me the advise to just swallow my pride for once and ask for help from people who seem to reach out to others.
I don’t know if I’m wasting my time and I do feel kind of dumb asking strangers for help but I decided to at least give it a try for what it’s worth. If there’s anyone out there who wouldn’t mind helping me in anyway – I don’t even know what specific type of help I’m asking for – please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Also, please do not feel bad in any way if you decide you are unable to help me out... For even taking the time to read this, means a lot. Thanks.